Hi!
Looks like it's summer 2014. People are out there enjoying life. Beach, pool, home, restaurants, waxing places, you name it! One thing everyone is doing is ignoring the world and staying buried in their phones texting, myself included. Texting is the great invention next to toilet paper and online shopping. You are no longer forced to call people. In fact, now that there's texting, you should never have to speak to another human being again. But even better than texting is the use of emojis. That my friends is Boner Central, USA
. How great is it that we no longer have to type out words with our thumbs? We can just use tiny symbols to convey our thoughts. With that said I'd like to give you a list of emojis I frequently use…
Looks like it's summer 2014. People are out there enjoying life. Beach, pool, home, restaurants, waxing places, you name it! One thing everyone is doing is ignoring the world and staying buried in their phones texting, myself included. Texting is the great invention next to toilet paper and online shopping. You are no longer forced to call people. In fact, now that there's texting, you should never have to speak to another human being again. But even better than texting is the use of emojis. That my friends is Boner Central, USA. How great is it that we no longer have to type out words with our thumbs? We can just use tiny symbols to convey our thoughts. With that said I'd like to give you a list of emojis I frequently use…
If someone asks what you're doing and you happen to be laying out in the sun (topless) working on your tan, simply type: 
. The sun emoji represents the sun, while the fried whites represent your boobs and the egg yolks eggs are your areolas. Makes sense, huh? Of course it does you silly pickles! Now here are a few others…
. The sun emoji represents the sun, while the fried whites represent your boobs and the egg yolks eggs are your areolas. Makes sense, huh? Of course it does you silly pickles! Now here are a few others…
Getting an abortion:
=
=
Smoking: 
Butt sex: 
Aroused at an idea (squirting dancers): 
Looking for cocaine: 
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#planedrankin in #beats (gonna trademark that one, follow me on Instagram and you'll know why, it's my thang): 
Asking someone if they wanna be doin it with you: 
?
?
Not down with things going in your b-hole? 
Gotta boner?
Eating pizza:
Just ate really good pizza:
Just ate really good greasy pizza: 
(Same goes for the other food emojis: 
)
)
Basically you can make any emoji squirt and I like that.
You're Gayle King and you're trying to text your best friend Oprah during her Lance Armstrong interview. That exchange would look something like this…
Gayle:
?
Oprah:
Gayle: smh
Oprah:
Gayle:
?
Oprah:
Gayle:
?Oprah:
Gayle: smh
Oprah:
Gayle:
?Oprah:
Listening to old people talk politics: 
Me putting my finger in someone's wine:
Camel farting: 
Hitting an old lady with a hammer:
Texting Lindsay Lohan: 
?
?
Asking if someone is a pedophile: 
?
?
And so on. Hope these will be useful to you in your future text/social media exchanges. If not,
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